My American Journal - The Finale

And so I graduated..but with nothing extra. I'd say 'Alhamdulillah' just on the fact that I was able to graduate! It's kinda funny when I think back to the old days. There were times when I had this ridiculous thought that I should quit college, and take on a different journey altogether. The thought would linger for a while, but I always managed to get over it before it could consume me. To some here, I may have been a recluse, but again looks can be deceiving. The people who know me, they know how chatty and lively I am. ^^" A bore? Heh, not even close! :p I'm fun to be around. The way I see it, my writing has somewhat played the role to compensate for the recluse me. Split personality huh? Oftentimes, how I appear to others depends on the environment I'm in. My life has been confined to this particular environment here fior years, which I found quite difficult to handle. But now the windows are open again for me to choose from. May He help e make the wisest choice.

I couldn't thank you enough, Uncle Sam, for giving me so much to learn from, for letting me acquire what I came here for, for letting me discover the different sides of myself, for letting me fulfill my purpose in this chapter. You were introduced to me as "the land of opportunity", and from what I have seen, you does live up to the name. Please let me keep some of our memories together, so I'll have something to look back on when we are apart. One last favor from you if I may ask; please take good care of those I'm leaving behind, let them figure out what their purpose is and help them carry it out, let them reach their dreams to the full extent. As for me, I'll build up on what I have at the moment, and try to utilize these little talent and abilities I've got for the sake of this Deen.

Having been here, I can't deny to have grown quite an attachment for the land, for the people. A giant chunk of my love has scattered around, a portion of which is hundreds of miles away while another is right before my eyes; A portion of which I can keep and take home, while another is meant to be left behind. I'll leave this particular portion here. I'm not taking it with me for it feels too heavy on my shoulders. Should it come back to me then it's mine to keep, and if it doesn't I guess it was never meant to be. To some point, I'm tired of chasing after shadows under a dim light. Today I let go of my hopes and wishes. Perhaps when these shoulders get a little stronger, I can consider adding more to the load. A piece of advice before I close; never compromise the principles you have held on to for a nod of approval from others, for they are what makes you who you are. Refresh your intention regularly, and correct any misintentions you might have had along the way. Whatever thing you come across, or whatever situation you are faced with, assimilate the good and filter out the evil. To my beloved sisters, don't forget that you are our flag bearers. You represent this Deen more than we brothers do. Make us proud, make our Deen proud. ^^

Our company of each other may end, but our friendship will always grow. May Allah make things easy for you my brothers and sisters out there, and may He reward all your struggles. I hereby, shut down 'My American Journal' and 'Da'wah is Love'.

Assalamualaikum. =)

"prisoners" at ICR

Yesterday a jama'ah of about 20 madrasah students came to ICR for the month's khuruj. Among them were a couple of adults, including an uztaz teaching at the madrasah and a mufti from New York City. It's become part of the policy for madrasahs with da'wah that the students should spend one day in khuruj every month. Regular students like us are encouraged to spend one and a half days, whereas the general adults should spend complete 3 days a month. We did jaulah with them after 'Asar. Two groups went out; Wae took one group to the Yamanese masjid, and I took the other smaller group to visit the Malaysians. I love being in the company of madrasah students and I'd be delighted every time I get to go in khuruj with them. I've always envied those bright faces, thinking how blessed they are and how blessed their parents are that their kids are enrolled in the path of preserving the knowledge Deen. I see these kids as profitable investments of the parents for their akhirah. Now I wonder if I've had any significant investment for mine. I undertand, with the correct intention, striving to get a degree is also a rewardable good deed, but still when I look at those faces long enough I wouldn't realize when my eyes started welling up with tears. Yes, every now and then I would hear this consoling remark, "If you go to college with the right intention to please Allah you'll be rewarded for that.." But I can't quite confirm if all this while my intention has always been to please Allah. Anyway, later after Maghrib we listened to a bayan by the mufti. Among the point I can remember was that it doesn't matter if you're not doing a lot of solah or making enough dzikir..when you go out and see the real condition of the ummah, your heart will cry, and then you'll get the concern and appreciation for this Deen, from which the practice will follow. Otherwise, if we stay at home we'll see that everything is fine and nothing wrong is going on, and slowly we'll stop making effort on this Deen altogether. Also glad to hear from the mufti that even Al-Azhar now have started sending jama'ahs out and the grand masyaikh are stepping into this effort of da'wah. Yet another door is opened by Him. ALHAMDULILLAH. ^^

acquaintances

I've been getting some unexpected calls these past few days. The other day a Moroccan brother whom I met at an Ijtima' in Reading Pennsylvania called saying that he'd like to come to Malaysia, as part of his travel around the world plan, and would like to meet me over there. I barely remembered him but he did take my cellphone number during our short meeting. Do come over brother, I'll be there to show you around. Just yesterday, an America revert, Br. Omar, whom we met in Utica while in khuruj called me for help. His wearing Baju Melayu caught our eye back at Utica masjid. He was so delighted to meet some Malaysians again after his return from Malaysia. Br. Omar took his syahadah in Malaysia while teaching at IIUM aka UIA. His family, however, did not approve of his decision and until now they are still mad at him over his conversion. He went to Malaysia recently in the hope to find a job as a teacher. He was looking for a part-time position since he's currently suffering from a health problem and can't work long hours. Unfortunately the jobs available are just for full-time positions. And now he's coming back here again, having spent almost all of his funds. So he asked me if I could find him a place to stay for a while, perhaps until he gets a job. I told him if he's coming to Rochester he could stay in our house for as long as we're still here, and perhaps I can hook him up with some brothers who might be able to help. May Allah make things easy for Br. Omar and strengthen his iman for this is a trying moment for him as a revert to Islam. He's currently staying at a motel with a cousin who is not Muslim.

KauBoLEh (5)

Actually I think this is supposed to be later in order, because I think, this is the toughest one of all. But I was afraid that I wouldn't have much time to get here. So..just in case.

Conditionals - Untrue Events

Conditionals are used when talking about things that are impossible to happen to someone/something. We use 'If clause' to establish an untrue condition, and then add a secondary clause to it. When the 'If clause' precedes the secondary clause, we use a 'comma' to separate the sentences. A comma is not needed when the secondary clause precedes the 'If clause'. Try to identify and distinguish the two clauses from the following;


Present-Present:

If I were you, I would go and tell her the truth. (In reality, I am not you)

I would be the happiest man if I had a Mitsubishi Lancer. (In reality, I don't have a Lancer)

If I had a private jet, I would be leaving for Malaysia by now.

Note: Insert 'not' accordingly to form a negative sentence.


Present-Past:

If I knew the guy, I would have recognized him.

If I had a car, I would not have gone there on foot.

If you were not my brother, I wouldn't have troubled myself to come.

Note: For the 'If clause' use Simple Past to refer to the present, and use Past Perfect to refer to the past. For the secondary clause, use 'would+be' form to refer to the present, and use 'would+have been' form to refer to the past.


Past-Present:

If she had told her parents, I would be really embarrassed right now. (She did not tell her parents)

If it wasn't/hadn't been for her, I would still be nobody.

If I'd had the guts to tell her what I feel, she would still be here by now.

Note: I'd = 'I had' OR 'I would' depending on the context.


Past-Past:

If I had waited a little longer, I wouldn't have missed the chance to meet Sara Ali in person. (I did not wait)

Woudn't it have been better if I hadn't gotten the way of their relationship? (question form)

The marriage would've been sweeter for the couple if they had not been dating. (they were dating before marriage)


Wish clause:

For wish clauses, we use 'I/he/she/they wish' in the first clause, and in the next clause, use Simple Past to refer to the present, and Past Perfect to refer to the past.


I wish I could read her mind so I could tell if she has the same feelings.

I wish I could go to a distant planet and get her flowers from there.

I wish I had spoken to her when I had the chance.


Special Note: As Muslims we should be carefull in using the conditionals. It comes in a hadith, more or less the meaning, "The word 'if' opens the doors for syaitan to work." For example, we should not say "If I had taken a cab I would have made it in time to office." or "If I had stayed up all night I would have passed the test." These kinds of sayings, without us realizing, could damage our iman as in Islam it's part of our faith to believe that something that had befallen us could not have missed us, and something that had missed us could not have befallen us. InsyaAllah we'll try to be careful with what we say in the future. ^^

P/s: This is the most simplistic way I could come up with, the way I have understood it, I'm sorry if you still find it confusing. I couldn't do much editting either since both my desktop and laptop computers have been packed into the container to be shipped to Malaysia. Yes, I did all this with my tab computer. *Penat ketuk2*

My American Journal (2)

I couldn't wait all day, so I went ahead and picked the right trail. I hoped the right I'd chosen was the right right. As I went farther down the trail I realized the day was getting dark. Oh no, I wish I'd started the story with me carrying a flashlight in my pocket. Never mind. The bush was getting thicker, thornier, the surrounding getting creepier. At this point I'd lost count of how many scratches I was getting all over my body. I looked up, even the moon was eclipsed in half. I thought for a while if I'd made the wrong choice after all. But whining right now is futile, I've got to keep going, hoping that the end to this pricking thorns is just several steps ahead. Unfortunately, the end was never showing up. I was extremely exhausted, my legs were killing me, I was not going to last any longer. Just to top it all, I suddenly tripped over what seemed to feel like a rock, and "Dushh!" I fell hard on my knee. Now at least I know I had one bruise on. That's it! I give up! Where on earth is this place anyway? Wonderland? La-la Land? I almost passed out when a familiar glow glided over my face, emitting pleasant warmth. "It's you, butterfly buddy! Did you just come to my rescue?" She just did what she does best; hovered around and around and swirled playfully, which I found quite amusing sometimes, especially at this very moment. I got back on my feet, unsteadily, ready to follow her lead. "Here we go again buddy." I followed the glittery trail that she left behind as she flew ahead. Her glow looked even brighter and remarkably more beautiful in the dark. "Hey, you shouldn't have left me by myself back there you know. Some bad guy could've kidnapped me or something." I expected her not to answer, and she did exactly that. ^^ After a while, we finally made it to the end of the jungle of thorns. I couldn't believe my eyes. I saw a pond. Err..this time it was just an ordinary pond, no glitter, no glow, no flashy lights, no nothing. But I couldn't care less. I was so much thirsty that I just dashed to it and drank from it at that instant. To my surprise, the water tasted really sweet and good. Not only that, as soon as I took a sip of it I became rejuvenated and fresh again. Weird? Peculiar? Strange? Alright, I don't know what else to expect from this place. I turned to the butterfly and remarked, "You must know this place pretty well to have guided me twice. Why don't you lead me all the way out of here then?" Instead of responding to my request, she made the same goodbye gesture as before. Soon afterwards another butterfly similar in nature flew into the scene. I soon figured they were a pair. Now they both were saying goodbye. But this time I didn't ask why she had to leave, nor did I try to persuade her not to. She's a butterfly. A butterfly is meant to be with another butterfly. Why should an earth-bound creature like me get in the way. So I watched as they flew away over the pond, swirled around each other, and then vanished in the distance. "Well I guess this is goodbye?" I turned around. Before me a sign read, "You have completed stage 1 of this journey. Please proceed here." I was dumbfounded, speechless. All this Indiana Jones-like adventure I had gone through, and it was just the first stage of the entire journey? How many stages are there altogether? I thought to myself, "Man..I could really use a pair of wings right now." -THE END-