homing in on home

I've been worried sick about my pending flight tickets home. All my housemates have received their tickets but strangely I can't feel mine being on their way. Honestly, I feel like I'm dying every second I'm here lately. This overwhelming longing for home is becoming unbearable, and torturing. It's not that I can't wait to start a job or something, or that I've got some outstandingly good grades to show my parents, or some super-cool goodies that I'm getting them. It's not that I feel happy about leaving here either, or that..I have some girl I'd like my parents to meet. I know I'd be really sad about leaving those people I've known from here. That's why I've been going around collecting their Skype IDs so I can skype them later when I get home..hoho. Too bad we don't have a yearbook like back in middle school to pass around, kan. Okay back to my state of helplessness. At this very moment, I just want to be home in the company of my family, and cats (we used to have only one! and Gogo died!). And apparently this pending answer on my tickets really adds to the frustration. Patience ye Adam, patience.

Yes. I'm homesick. Thank you.

P/s: Excuse me for the drama. Saje..bersenda gurau di petang hari. (I still can't believe what I got for my Advanced Immune exam! -__-")

Pp/s: We are holding a student gathering this coming Sunday at ICR, but for boys only la. Please pray for the success of our (probably) last gathering together.

"prisoners" of Jannah

Yesterday I went to Buffalo for a halaqah mesyuarah with Br. Intikhab, Br. Rauf Bawani, and Br. Khalid. In Buffalo, just before we reached the masjid, we stopped by the madrasah Darul Uloom since Br. Intikhab needed to drop off some stuff for his sons there. We all helped to carry those stuff upstairs into the kids' dormitory. Looking at the massive and sturdy structure, my heart was impressed by the fact that that building actually started out as a prison. I believe it had been abandoned for some period of time before the Buffalo brothers bought it and changed it into a madrasah. Now the very structure that used to hold prisoners is now a sanctuary for future huffaz and ulama'. This impression I had then reminded me of a hadith which says;

I pondered over it for a while, then smiled to the cynical truth of the hadith. I thought, "How many of us are actually living a "prison" life and how many are living a "paradise" life?" But the real meaning of this hadith lies far beyond this superficial interpretation I made. I already wrote a scholar's explanation on this hadith in a previous post, but it was in Malay. So now I'm just writing it again, in English.

Hazrat 'Ali r.a. was teaching this hadith to a group of other companions when a Jew happened to pass by. The Muslims were living a prosperous life at that time. The Jew, on the other hand, was very poor-looking and had patches all over his clothes. Upon hearing the mention of this hadith, the Jew remarked, "That's a lie! You said this world is a prison for the believers and a paradise for the non believers. But look at my condition now and look at yours!" At this 'Ali r.a. replied; A mukmin who had lived all his life as a king, had never felt the slightest hardship and worry, had never suffered a disease, had enjoyed all the luxuries in this world, when he will have entered paradise and Allah will ask him, "Don't you want to go back to that paradise of yours?", he will answer; "Forgive me O Allah. You have granted me everything the heart may desire here, please don't bring me back to that terrible place!" And a non believer who had lived all his life as a beggar in the streets, had never felt the slightest happiness in his life, had suffered all the severest diseases in the world, when he will have entered hellfire he will beg; "O Allah, please bring me back to my Jannah!" (more or less the story)

P/s: The pleasure of paradise and the torment of hellfire are respectively tremendous and severe. All the pleasures in the world put together will not match the pleasure of Jannah, and all the torments in the world put together will not match the torment of Hellfire.

Niagara Falls

Okay, I've seen enough words already up here (I know you have too!) So now let's give a break to your eyes. These are a few pictures from our recent 3-day khuruj to Niagara Falls. The masjid was just a few minutes away from the falls, so before we left for Rochester our 'amir, Br. Ifan, was kind enough to treat the kids to a chilly nice morning stroll over there. So pictures, it's time you do the rest of the talking.

Uthban, a hafiz in the making

Shish and the Somalis

at breakfast

the falls

the brotherhood

P/s: No matter how different we look, under the kalimah Lailahaillallah Muhammadurrasulullah, we are brothers. May our meeting and parting be solely for the sake of Allah swt..ameen.

seratus

Si cantik manis dah dapat adik! Hanis dah jadi kakak sekarang. Kakak kenalah jaga adik kan. ^^

P/s: Tiba-tiba rasa ingin dikerumuni oleh kanak-kanak. Haha. ^^"

jambatan pulau pinang?

Sebagai manusia, kita tidak boleh lari dari perubahan fasa kehidupan. Dan setiap perubahan fasa ini biasanya datang dengan tanggungjawab dan ekspektasi yang baru untuk dipenuhi. Sebagai contoh, saya mungkin akan meninggalkan fasa seorang pelajar tak lama lagi dan berpindah ke alam pekerjaan (tua dah). Kehidupan kita di detik ini bukanlah semata-mata untuk memikirkan bagaimana untuk menghadapi masa depan. Sebaliknya, detik ini juga perlu dihadapi dan digunakan dengan sebaiknya, kerana mungkin masa depan yang diharapkan itu tidak akan kunjung tiba. Tapi tak dinafikan, saya juga telah siap sedia dengan pelbagai perancangan di minda. Mungkin perkara yang paling menakutkan tentang masa depan adalah ketidakpastian. Tapi dari satu sudut, ketidakpastian inilah yang menambahkan perisa dan rencah kehidupan. Bagi kita umat Islam yang beriman dengan Lailahaillallah, ketidakpastian ini sepatutnya bukanlah satu masalah besar..kerana kita (sepatutnya) meyakini bahawa Allah swt telah menetapkan qada' dan qadar-Nya. Segala yang akan berlaku sudah digariskan di Lauh Mahfuz 50,000 tahun sebelum alam tercipta. Betapa telitinya ketetapan Allah swt sehinggakan tahap kepandaian atau ketidakpandaian seseorang pun telah dituliskan. Oleh itu, apa sahaja yang bakal dihadapi kelak, baik atau buruk, diyakini akan ada hikmahnya dengan syarat usaha yang terbaik dari si hamba telah dipersembahkan. Mungkin kita (saya) memahami perkara ini, tetapi untuk meyakini bahawa rezeki, jodoh telah ditetapkan bukanlah mudah.

Bak kata seseorang;

"Bila bercakap soal jodoh, ramai memilih untuk berusaha keras mencari walaupun sedar hakikat jodoh sudah ditentukan. Tapi bila bercakap soal hidayah, ramai pula memilih untuk menunggu biarpun sedar hidayah itu perlu dicari, bukannya jatuh ke riba."

Kebanyakan yang kita (saya) risaukan dan kejarkan di dunia ini sekarang adalah merupakan perkara-perkara yang telah pun ditetapkan oleh Allah swt. Satu perkara yang tidak ditetapkan tetapi jarang-jarang dirisau dan dikejarkan: hidayah. Hidayah itu bukan cuma untuk orang yang belum beriman. Orang yang (kononnya) sudah beriman juga perlukan hidayah, bahkan mungkin lebih lagi. Hidayah yang dimaksudkan adalah hidayah untuk memperbetul dan memperbaiki iman. Kerana takut-takut iman yang kita miliki sekarang ini tidak mengikut piawaian yang ditetapkan oleh Allah swt. Maka alangkah ruginya jika 'amalan yang menggunung tinggi (kalau ada lah) itu nanti ditolak kerana iman yang rosak. Na'uzubillah. Perjalanan kita masih panjang, bukan di sini, tapi selepas "di sini." Barzakh, Mahsyar, Sirat, Mizan adalah merupakan fasa-fasa yang kita akan tempuhi, dan fasa-fasa ini bukanlah pendek seperti fasa yang kita lalui di sini. Barzakh bukanlah seperti tidur di malam hari menunggu hari esok. Mahsyar bukanlah seperti berbaris menunggu nombor giliran di hospital. Sirat bukanlah seperti melintasi jambatan Pulau Pinang sambil menikmati pemandangan, dan Mizan bukanlah seperti menghadapi debaran keputusan SPM. Justeru itu, saya menyeru diri sendiri dan sahabat2 sekalian untuk memanjangkan perancangan yang kita usahakan, daripada 20-30 tahun akan datang kepada 500 tahun akan datang. Bagaimanakah keadaan kita ketika itu ditentukan dengan perancangan hari ini. Wallahua'lam.

P/s: Wah..rasa macam sebuah pencapaian menulis dalam Bahasa Ibunda. ^^