me and the deathly room

Have you ever spent the night in a hospital? If you have, you'd know how much it sucks stinks. I was once admitted to the hospital for suspected appendicitis. If I remember it right, it was the day before I had to register back to school following a school break. I was held in the ward only for one night, but it felt like a year. The air in there was filled with the smell of death; I felt as if my body was rotting away. Such atmosphere could turn a regular fever into a heart condition..no kidding.

That evening, my stomach hurt very badly. I was so much in pain that I was rolling around like a boulder over the floor. It felt like the veins in my stomach were breaking off. My dad was pretty much freaked out by this, and decided to take me to the hospital at that instant. *Hospital? Ok..I'm cool with that. Maybe I can get an MC from the doctor and stay at home for extra few days..hoho* So my anticipation was that, after they did a little checkup on me, I would be allowed to go home with a bag of medicines for regular diarrhea. I absolutely had no idea what I was getting myself into. To my greatest fear, the doctor said, "It looks like you have to stay in for tonight to confirm if you have appendicitis." *What?! Are you kidding me doctor? I only ate a few slices of mango. How on earth did I end up getting appendicitis?!* Next, the nurse put me on that electrolyte fluid thingy (what do you call that..intravenous therapy? Whatever..medicine people should know) It killed when she stuck the needle in my wrist.

My bed's surrounding was not helpful at all. The elderly man opposite to me was pretty much in a bad shape; he got blood in his urine! The urine (plus blood) drained through a long, thin plastic tube into a collection bag. What a scary sight that was. While next to me, a man with confirmed appendicitis was lying in his bed. There was a big handwritten tag on his bed that said "fasting." I was told that the guy was fasting in preparation for his surgery. Now I remember..the doctor did ask me to fast for 6 hours. *Wait. Am I going to be operated on too? But I thought it still hasn't been confirmed? No way..tell me this is not happening*

That night, I could not get myself to sleep. One reason was because my throat felt overwhelmingly dehydrated, another might have been because I had things playing on my mind (like..am I really going to be dissected?!) My stomach did not hurt as much anymore though. Then I think it was late in the night when I felt my thirst was becoming unbearable. So I got up and walked over to the nurses at the counter to ask for some water. My head felt dizzy..I was swinging left and right. I asked one of them, "Nurse, can I get some water? I'm so thirsty." She replied, "I'm sorry, but you have to stay on your fast at least for 6 hours." "But I'm really thirsty right now." "Just..hold on for a little longer okay..it's not much longer." *Nurse, you have no idea what I'm going through right now..I'm dying for a cup of water!* I was insisting to get some water, and she was persisting in not giving me any. However, realizing that I was passing out, they finally yielded. "Okay2. You can have some water. But after that you need to go back to bed ok?" *Yeah, I got my water.* After I drank the water, I finally could get myself to sleep. Alhamdulillah.. =)

The next morning, the doctor came to check on me..and he brought the whole gang with him too (practical doctors who seemed very enthusiastic to learn). I was surrounded. Their eyes were locked on me like I was a test subject or something. The doctor asked, "How are you feeling this morning?" I answered, "Oh, I'm feeling great. I think I'm alright now. Can I go home? Besides, I need to register back to school by this afternoon." *I don't care if it's appendicitis or not..I just wanna go home now!* He asked again, while pressing on my stomach, "Does it still hurt?" I blurted out, "Nope..it doesn't hurt anymore." *Silence* "Ok then..I think I can let you out already." "Really? Thank you doctor."  So I think, I didn't have appendicitis after all?

I've never liked being in a hospital at all, be it as a patient, or as a visitor. Just the smell of it can make me sick to my stomach. And to think that I can stand spending half a day in Biology lab.. *Come to think of it, I'm starting to wonder how the two are different from each other anyway. Hmm..* That might have been one of the reasons why I never wanted to be a doctor. But on top of that, I actually hate seeing blood. Once when I was in Form 5 (11th grade here), we were in the chemistry lab doing some experiment. A friend of mine cut his finger and a tremendous amount of blood started flowing down his arm. At this sight, I felt my head started spinning..I was sweating heavily. Fortunately I managed to get a hold of a chair just before I blacked out. That's embarrassing, isn't it??

p/s: To those who have spent more time in the hospital than I have, believe me, I do value your courage..hoho..The title was inspired by a film I recently watched..mind to take a guess?

take me home

I should have known where this was taking me

I should have known not to put my trust in anyone other than You.

All this while I've been wading around in bewilderment.

And now..I'm paying the price for my recklessness.

Here I am, betrayed and disappointed.

The more I indulged into delusion,

The more I came to compromise my oath to You,

The more I grew apart from You.

I've had enough..

I'm letting go of all this..

I'm sealing away the stories of yesterday..

I'm going back to You..

If You could just take me home..

I just want to be with You..for now

halaqah mesyuarah @ ICR

Here is a little karkuzari (account) of our recent khuruj to Syracuse. I know there is nothing much to be told actually from just a weekend's outing. But since this is my last year here in the US, I thought it would be great to capture as much memories as I can for me to look back on in the future. We had a good number of brothers this time, mostly high school students. Alhamdulillah..the management and the community there are growing more and more supportive of this effort. In fact, the Imam himself was exclusively addressing the importance of da'wah in his lectures throughout our stay, as a sign of support to our coming I believe. In one of his lectures he mentioned that by striving in da'wah, Allah swt will give us the correct understanding of our 'ilm (knowledge) and that He will correct our 'amal. By calling people towards good and forbid them from evil, we are actually encouraging ourselves to practice on our knowledge of Deen. In da'wah, we benefit ourselves before we benefit others..and even if we don't benefit others, we'll still get the benefits for ourselves.

During jaulah (visitation) on Saturday, we went out in two groups to see the local brothers around the area. Br. Tabreez, Ahmed, and I went to a Bosnian community about five minutes drive from the masjid. The other group, led by 'amir sab (Br. Intikhab) visited a Somalian community also not far from there. Br. Tabreez is a Bangladeshi brother who just moved to Syracuse from Los Angeles due to a change in workplace. He can speak a little Malay and knows a lot of places in Malaysia. He used to live in Brunei for a long time, and once went for 40 days in Malaysia. He said that his daughter used to be very good in Malay, so much so that she was getting better grades in Bahasa Melayu than the Malay kids in her class. And the people could not even tell her apart from the other Malay kids because of her flawless Malay. Wow..that is really something, isn't it? But unfortunately, she has forgotten everything about Malay now. Too bad..I was just thinking if I could..oops, never mind. ^^ But seriously, what a waste, kan?

Okay..as we were talking about how we were going to find any Muslims in the area, a passer-by greeted, "Assalamu'alaikum." We looked at each other in surprise. Subhanallah, problem solved! So we talked to the brother for a few minutes, and then went over to a group of Bosnian kids who were playing soccer there. They stopped playing and listened to us attentively. They are good kids. May Allah give hidayah to them, their parents, and the entire community there..ameen. I remember coming here for the first time about one and a half years ago, that's when I saw a Muslim brother drinking alcohol right before my eyes, despite realizing that it's haram. I can still remember his words; "Sorry brother, it's not the right time..I'm drinking alcohol here." It really affected me back then to see such a condition with my own eyes. That was only one case that I got to see, there are definitely more other Muslims out there who are on the verge of losing their iman, and we are not even aware of it. Towards the end of our stay, 'Amir sab briefed some local youngsters on how to start ta'alim in the masjid, and told them how important it is to go meet the other Muslim brothers and invite them to the masjid.

Syish, a Bangladeshi student who also goes to RIT went with us this time. Now, there's something interesting about this guy. He used to live in Malaysia for more than 10 years, and went to school there. I believe his dad was teaching at some college at that time. It's kinda hard to believe that, throughout the 10 years, he did not learn any Malay at all, except for "Apa khabar," "Nasi Lemak," "Tom Yam," and a couple more words associated with food. It's because he actually went to an international school in which no Malay was spoken. Subhanallah..if he would've gone to a public school back then, I would be talking Malay with him right now. I told him how much I was disappointed with him. The next time you come to Malaysia, *perhaps for my wedding* I'm gonna make you learn Malay in 10 days. He was telling me his experience of travelling around Malaysia as a kid; now I was listening to his stories as though I was a foreign tourist who wanted to find out more about Malaysia. He actually knows more than I do, about my own country?! *oh, I so wanna go travel around Malaysia right now*

Alhamdulillah..we had a lot of fun, as we always do. The kids made intention to spend 10 days in this coming winter break. It is likely that we are going to Chicago again this time, considering that we received a special invitation from Br. Kamran. Mael and Wae have been to Chicago twice already..hoho..they must be looking forward to going somewhere else this time around. *Sorry guys, you'll have to go with what 'amir sab decides* The last thing..there is going to be a halaqah mesyuarah on this December 4th at Islamic Center of Rochester (ICR), from Zuhr till Isya', in which brothers from the different cities within Buffalo halaqah get together to present the karkuzaris of da'wah from their respective areas. This is the very first time that ICR is hosting the event; all this while it's always been done at Buffalo markaz (center) masjid. Hopefully everything will go in a smooth flow. And..Br. Irfan is back from India. We'll see him tonight insyaAllah. ^^

p/s: We RITans are on a one-week break now. Happy holidays people!

Cinta?

Tersebutlah sebuah kisah..

Ada seorang suami yang sering mengungkapkan kata-kata cinta kepada isterinya..”Aku CINTA pada mu”
…
“Sungguh! Aku Benar-benar Cinta Padamu..”
…
“I Luv U..I really really love you”
…Boleh dikatakan, hampir setiap malam si suami akan mengulangi kata-kata cinta yang sama sebelum mereka tidur..
..Tetapi, hal ini hanya berlaku pada waktu malam sahaja…
Apabila tiba waktu siang..
Lain pula ceritanya..
~Cara isterinya tak betul..
“Cara awak masak ni tak betul, sebab tu tak sedap…Awak patut belajar dengan mak saya!”
~Penampilan isterinya memalukan..
“Fesyen baju awak ni tak up-to-date ..Malu saya nak bawak awak jumpa lawan-kawan saya“
~Malas nak ambil tahu apa kerisauan isterinya..
“Pasal anak-anak, awak fikirlah sorang-sorang..Saya ada banyak lagi benda lain yg nak difikirkan”
Dan apabila tiba waktu malam…
Si suami masih lagi mengulang ayat-ayat cinta untuk isterinya seperti malam-malam sebelumnya
dan begitulah yg terjadi setiap hari..
bertahun-tahun lamanya..
sampai isterinya mati..
….
Sekiranya kita berada di tempat si isteri tadi..
bolehkah kita percaya bahawa suami kita mencintai diri kita,
dengan setulus hatinya
sebagaimana yang diberitahu pada setiap malam..??
Sedangkan di siang hari,
kata-kata cinta itu tidak pernah dibuktikan dgn perbuatannya???
….
Begitulah apa yang telah terjadi pada hari ini,
Kita selalu dengar orang kata…
“Ya Rasulullah, aku cinta padamu..”
“Ya Rasulullah, aku sayang padamu..”
“Allahumma Solli A’la Muhammad”
“Selawat dan salam ke atas junjungan besar kita Nabi Muhammad saw”
Tetapi dalam masa yg sama,
Dia tak suka lihat orang yang meniru penampilan Rasulullah saw,
“Apalah dia pakai jubah pergi Tesco..”"
Rimas aku tengok janggut dia”"
Pakai serban & kopiah??..ha-ha..never!”
Cara hidup dia pun jauh daripada cara hidup Rasulullah saw,
“makan kat lantai?? ..sakit pinggang laa”
“nak masuk bilik air pun kena tutup kepala..? Aihh..leceh la”"
gosok gigi guna kayu??..awak takde duit nak beli berus gigi ke?”
Dia juga tak mahu fikir macam mana fikir risau Rasulullah saw terhadap umat ini..
“orang sebelah rumah tak pakai tudung?..aghh..lantaklah dia..kubur masing2″”
anak tak solat subuh?..alaa..malaslah nak tegur,nanti dia lambat gi sekolah pulak”
“sepupu bawak pakwe balik kampung?…biarlah…dia dah besar..pandailah fikir sendiri”
“mak pak sedara bergaduh?..malas den nak campur..hal orang-orang tua”
Kalau beginilah sikap kita..
Agak-agaknya..bila kita berjumpa dgn Rasulullah saw di akhirat nanti…
Nak tak Baginda saw percaya yang kita benar-benar mencintai baginda?
Nak tak Baginda saw mengaku yang kita ni umatnya?
Tepuk dada, mari tanya diri sendiri..
~Adakah kita benar-benar mencintai Rasulullah saw?
bak kata omputih..”Action speaks louder than words”
Rasulullah saw bersabda:”Barangsiapa yang mencintai sunnahku, dia mencintaiku. Dan barangsiapa yang mencintaiku, dia akan bersamaku di dalam syurga“ (Maksud Hadis)

Reblogged from: AnakkuSoleh.com

PS: InsyaAllah..Belajar2 cintakan sunnah Baginda, semoga kita bertemu cinta Baginda. =)

PPS: Sekarang semua orang tgh sibuk dgn final exams. Sy ade lab report yg perlu disiapkan. -_-") *Yg dah habis exam pegi main jauh2!*

"zawaj"

A beautiful lecture on "Marriage in Islam" by Sheikh Shady Alsuleiman. I believe some of you would enjoy need this more than others do, especially if you are not married. But, even if you are married, it will still benefit you insyaAllah. Anything that adds to our Islamic knowledge is always worth the time, isn't it? =p

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

p/s: Currently reading "Risalah Untuk Wanita Mu'minah" by Dr. Muhammad Sa'id Ramadhan al-Buthy..so far I must say, it's a good read..very enlightening for sisters and brothers alike!