My American Journal - The Finale

And so I graduated..but with nothing extra. I'd say 'Alhamdulillah' just on the fact that I was able to graduate! It's kinda funny when I think back to the old days. There were times when I had this ridiculous thought that I should quit college, and take on a different journey altogether. The thought would linger for a while, but I always managed to get over it before it could consume me. To some here, I may have been a recluse, but again looks can be deceiving. The people who know me, they know how chatty and lively I am. ^^" A bore? Heh, not even close! :p I'm fun to be around. The way I see it, my writing has somewhat played the role to compensate for the recluse me. Split personality huh? Oftentimes, how I appear to others depends on the environment I'm in. My life has been confined to this particular environment here fior years, which I found quite difficult to handle. But now the windows are open again for me to choose from. May He help e make the wisest choice.

I couldn't thank you enough, Uncle Sam, for giving me so much to learn from, for letting me acquire what I came here for, for letting me discover the different sides of myself, for letting me fulfill my purpose in this chapter. You were introduced to me as "the land of opportunity", and from what I have seen, you does live up to the name. Please let me keep some of our memories together, so I'll have something to look back on when we are apart. One last favor from you if I may ask; please take good care of those I'm leaving behind, let them figure out what their purpose is and help them carry it out, let them reach their dreams to the full extent. As for me, I'll build up on what I have at the moment, and try to utilize these little talent and abilities I've got for the sake of this Deen.

Having been here, I can't deny to have grown quite an attachment for the land, for the people. A giant chunk of my love has scattered around, a portion of which is hundreds of miles away while another is right before my eyes; A portion of which I can keep and take home, while another is meant to be left behind. I'll leave this particular portion here. I'm not taking it with me for it feels too heavy on my shoulders. Should it come back to me then it's mine to keep, and if it doesn't I guess it was never meant to be. To some point, I'm tired of chasing after shadows under a dim light. Today I let go of my hopes and wishes. Perhaps when these shoulders get a little stronger, I can consider adding more to the load. A piece of advice before I close; never compromise the principles you have held on to for a nod of approval from others, for they are what makes you who you are. Refresh your intention regularly, and correct any misintentions you might have had along the way. Whatever thing you come across, or whatever situation you are faced with, assimilate the good and filter out the evil. To my beloved sisters, don't forget that you are our flag bearers. You represent this Deen more than we brothers do. Make us proud, make our Deen proud. ^^

Our company of each other may end, but our friendship will always grow. May Allah make things easy for you my brothers and sisters out there, and may He reward all your struggles. I hereby, shut down 'My American Journal' and 'Da'wah is Love'.

Assalamualaikum. =)

"prisoners" at ICR

Yesterday a jama'ah of about 20 madrasah students came to ICR for the month's khuruj. Among them were a couple of adults, including an uztaz teaching at the madrasah and a mufti from New York City. It's become part of the policy for madrasahs with da'wah that the students should spend one day in khuruj every month. Regular students like us are encouraged to spend one and a half days, whereas the general adults should spend complete 3 days a month. We did jaulah with them after 'Asar. Two groups went out; Wae took one group to the Yamanese masjid, and I took the other smaller group to visit the Malaysians. I love being in the company of madrasah students and I'd be delighted every time I get to go in khuruj with them. I've always envied those bright faces, thinking how blessed they are and how blessed their parents are that their kids are enrolled in the path of preserving the knowledge Deen. I see these kids as profitable investments of the parents for their akhirah. Now I wonder if I've had any significant investment for mine. I undertand, with the correct intention, striving to get a degree is also a rewardable good deed, but still when I look at those faces long enough I wouldn't realize when my eyes started welling up with tears. Yes, every now and then I would hear this consoling remark, "If you go to college with the right intention to please Allah you'll be rewarded for that.." But I can't quite confirm if all this while my intention has always been to please Allah. Anyway, later after Maghrib we listened to a bayan by the mufti. Among the point I can remember was that it doesn't matter if you're not doing a lot of solah or making enough dzikir..when you go out and see the real condition of the ummah, your heart will cry, and then you'll get the concern and appreciation for this Deen, from which the practice will follow. Otherwise, if we stay at home we'll see that everything is fine and nothing wrong is going on, and slowly we'll stop making effort on this Deen altogether. Also glad to hear from the mufti that even Al-Azhar now have started sending jama'ahs out and the grand masyaikh are stepping into this effort of da'wah. Yet another door is opened by Him. ALHAMDULILLAH. ^^

acquaintances

I've been getting some unexpected calls these past few days. The other day a Moroccan brother whom I met at an Ijtima' in Reading Pennsylvania called saying that he'd like to come to Malaysia, as part of his travel around the world plan, and would like to meet me over there. I barely remembered him but he did take my cellphone number during our short meeting. Do come over brother, I'll be there to show you around. Just yesterday, an America revert, Br. Omar, whom we met in Utica while in khuruj called me for help. His wearing Baju Melayu caught our eye back at Utica masjid. He was so delighted to meet some Malaysians again after his return from Malaysia. Br. Omar took his syahadah in Malaysia while teaching at IIUM aka UIA. His family, however, did not approve of his decision and until now they are still mad at him over his conversion. He went to Malaysia recently in the hope to find a job as a teacher. He was looking for a part-time position since he's currently suffering from a health problem and can't work long hours. Unfortunately the jobs available are just for full-time positions. And now he's coming back here again, having spent almost all of his funds. So he asked me if I could find him a place to stay for a while, perhaps until he gets a job. I told him if he's coming to Rochester he could stay in our house for as long as we're still here, and perhaps I can hook him up with some brothers who might be able to help. May Allah make things easy for Br. Omar and strengthen his iman for this is a trying moment for him as a revert to Islam. He's currently staying at a motel with a cousin who is not Muslim.