me and the deathly room

Have you ever spent the night in a hospital? If you have, you'd know how much it sucks stinks. I was once admitted to the hospital for suspected appendicitis. If I remember it right, it was the day before I had to register back to school following a school break. I was held in the ward only for one night, but it felt like a year. The air in there was filled with the smell of death; I felt as if my body was rotting away. Such atmosphere could turn a regular fever into a heart condition..no kidding.

That evening, my stomach hurt very badly. I was so much in pain that I was rolling around like a boulder over the floor. It felt like the veins in my stomach were breaking off. My dad was pretty much freaked out by this, and decided to take me to the hospital at that instant. *Hospital? Ok..I'm cool with that. Maybe I can get an MC from the doctor and stay at home for extra few days..hoho* So my anticipation was that, after they did a little checkup on me, I would be allowed to go home with a bag of medicines for regular diarrhea. I absolutely had no idea what I was getting myself into. To my greatest fear, the doctor said, "It looks like you have to stay in for tonight to confirm if you have appendicitis." *What?! Are you kidding me doctor? I only ate a few slices of mango. How on earth did I end up getting appendicitis?!* Next, the nurse put me on that electrolyte fluid thingy (what do you call that..intravenous therapy? Whatever..medicine people should know) It killed when she stuck the needle in my wrist.

My bed's surrounding was not helpful at all. The elderly man opposite to me was pretty much in a bad shape; he got blood in his urine! The urine (plus blood) drained through a long, thin plastic tube into a collection bag. What a scary sight that was. While next to me, a man with confirmed appendicitis was lying in his bed. There was a big handwritten tag on his bed that said "fasting." I was told that the guy was fasting in preparation for his surgery. Now I remember..the doctor did ask me to fast for 6 hours. *Wait. Am I going to be operated on too? But I thought it still hasn't been confirmed? No way..tell me this is not happening*

That night, I could not get myself to sleep. One reason was because my throat felt overwhelmingly dehydrated, another might have been because I had things playing on my mind (like..am I really going to be dissected?!) My stomach did not hurt as much anymore though. Then I think it was late in the night when I felt my thirst was becoming unbearable. So I got up and walked over to the nurses at the counter to ask for some water. My head felt dizzy..I was swinging left and right. I asked one of them, "Nurse, can I get some water? I'm so thirsty." She replied, "I'm sorry, but you have to stay on your fast at least for 6 hours." "But I'm really thirsty right now." "Just..hold on for a little longer okay..it's not much longer." *Nurse, you have no idea what I'm going through right now..I'm dying for a cup of water!* I was insisting to get some water, and she was persisting in not giving me any. However, realizing that I was passing out, they finally yielded. "Okay2. You can have some water. But after that you need to go back to bed ok?" *Yeah, I got my water.* After I drank the water, I finally could get myself to sleep. Alhamdulillah.. =)

The next morning, the doctor came to check on me..and he brought the whole gang with him too (practical doctors who seemed very enthusiastic to learn). I was surrounded. Their eyes were locked on me like I was a test subject or something. The doctor asked, "How are you feeling this morning?" I answered, "Oh, I'm feeling great. I think I'm alright now. Can I go home? Besides, I need to register back to school by this afternoon." *I don't care if it's appendicitis or not..I just wanna go home now!* He asked again, while pressing on my stomach, "Does it still hurt?" I blurted out, "Nope..it doesn't hurt anymore." *Silence* "Ok then..I think I can let you out already." "Really? Thank you doctor."  So I think, I didn't have appendicitis after all?

I've never liked being in a hospital at all, be it as a patient, or as a visitor. Just the smell of it can make me sick to my stomach. And to think that I can stand spending half a day in Biology lab.. *Come to think of it, I'm starting to wonder how the two are different from each other anyway. Hmm..* That might have been one of the reasons why I never wanted to be a doctor. But on top of that, I actually hate seeing blood. Once when I was in Form 5 (11th grade here), we were in the chemistry lab doing some experiment. A friend of mine cut his finger and a tremendous amount of blood started flowing down his arm. At this sight, I felt my head started spinning..I was sweating heavily. Fortunately I managed to get a hold of a chair just before I blacked out. That's embarrassing, isn't it??

p/s: To those who have spent more time in the hospital than I have, believe me, I do value your courage..hoho..The title was inspired by a film I recently watched..mind to take a guess?

die-hard memories

Talk about anomalies..things beyond ordinary that happen every now and then in life. Though we may think some of the events we come across in life are beyond expectation or comprehension, those events had actually been written for us long before you and me even came into existence, on The Preserved Tablet (al-Lauh al-Mahfuz)..=)

Winter break 2010, we were on our way back from a 10-day khuruj to Chicago when something frightening happened; The car I was riding in spun 360 degrees and skidded off the road into the snow piles between the opposite traffics. I was getting goosebumps when I noticed the speedometer just kept going up. For such a road condition, we were already going pretty fast. The road was kinda icy, and speeding was the last thing you would want to do here. Phew..even prior to the big slide I felt the car was making occasional sideways movements. Subhanallah..I could feel it to my bones when the car was spinning, but no one was making a single sound..no screaming, no yelling..and I myself did not feel the slightest worry about the car getting into an accident. Strange..maybe that's because it was happening too sudden. The spin was followed by a crash over a small speed sign on the road side, and then an emergency landing in a mass of snow in the middle of nowhere. Then, there was this short interval of absolute silence in the car. Everyone was taking their time to comprehend what was going on. I couldn't be more grateful that the car stayed in it's upright position..it could have turned over or landed on the sides but it didn't. We were fortunate enough that no cars were coming our way on the road. Oh great..now the tires are stuck in the snow and we couldn't get back on the road. After a series of struggle in the windy weather, we finally made our way out of the snow, back up on the road. The car suffered a couple of dents, but we all got out of the mess and back to Rochester in one peace. Alhamdulillah..what a ride.

I never really got into a serious accident before. But I had a life-threatening experience once when I was out in the jungle on a camping trip. This was back in my secondary-school days. We were trying to climb down this rocky hill using a rope tied to a big tree..the ground was somewhat damp and watery. When it was my turn down, unfortunately, I slipped off the rope and slid right down the slippery ground head-first. Now..my head was going straight for a big rock on the way down. Lucky me, I saw that coming. I made my last-second dodge from the rock by turning my head away and "Dush.." I made my landing in style. I took a moment to catch my breath..I couldn't believe I made it. The people around were just as startled as I was..there was a sigh of relief celebrating my being alive..haha. My shirt was a total mess, I was covered in mud all over. I never told my mom about this, I wonder how she would have reacted...

Another incident took place way back in time, when I was just a cute little boy..ahha. I was in my beloved kampung in Sungai Manik. So in my kampung, almost all of the houses have paddy fields as a backyard..and the houses are located alongside a small river, which separates them from a tarred road. In my case, the river is just next to my front yard. At that time we only had a very small, shaky bridge that connected us to the road. But now the bridge has been replaced with a mass of soil packed across the river..more sturdy and safe. Here the story begins..one fine day, I was cycling my bike across the shabby bridge when I tripped over a piece of wood and fell off. It was a small bike I was riding..the one with the side wheels. So, you know this was one of the crucial moments of my life: learning how to ride a bike. Okay back to the falling part..I didn't fall right off..thanks to my quick reflexes. I managed to grab a hold of the bridge's side. I was holding on tight, half drowning. The water reached up to the top of my head..at this point only my hand was visible. Poor little me..I couldn't even shout for help. Now what's going to happen to me? My mom was inside the house and as far as I could remember nobody else was around. This little kid could really use a saving right now or else..Even though I was down there for quite a while, I don't remember breathing any water into my lungs..hm..I actually did a good job holding my breath long enough for saving to come. By Allah's will, one of my neighbors just happened to be close by doing his chores. Well he didn't hear me shouting..but I guess he saw my bike lying on the bridge..and a hand?! From under the water, I could see the sky was kinda blurry, and watery..my mind was empty..well what would you expect a kid would do in his dying moments? This emptiness dragged on for a while until suddenly I felt my hand being pulled up..and seconds later I was back on the bridge. Yeay..I was saved. Now I can't quite recall the later part..but I saw my mom coming to me running..with this expression a mother would have when her child almost drowned.

Despite all these..I'm still here! He has made me live for almost 22 years now. Alhamdulillah..may He put blessings in the coming seconds, days, or years of our life..ameen. =)