di mana aku?

Alhamdulillah..

Lab report dah hantar dan exam 1 GE pun dah lepas (tak habis2 dgn GE pun). Lega rasanya..sekarang semuanya nampak bergerak dengan lebih perlahan dan munasabah. Tapi ni baru permulaan..lepas ni ada 40-60 mukasurat lab report menanti..huhu. Hari tu dah stay up sampai pukul 3, kalau yang ni tak taulah. Sekarang ni rasa agak gembira sebab eksperimen yang aku buat semalam menjadi..dengan jayanya. Aku dan lab partner aku, Amer, selalu macam agak ketinggalan bila buat eksperimen ni..tapi at the end of the day we always managed to pull through. You know how it feels..lepas dah penat2 kerja, pastu kita dibayar gaji. Tapi sepatutnya sekarang ni kena sedih jugak..sebab dah jarang dapat pegi masjid dan hadir mesyuarat harian. In fact, inilah yang sepatutnya paling disedihkan. Nak difikirkan..kalau ini ujian..sekarang aku memang sangat teruji..fikir risau untuk agama dah semakin pudar nih..haritu time orang lain pergi charge 'bateri' ke Buffalo aku duk habiskan bateri kat rumah..aduih. Bila situasi macam ni berlaku, aku tau aku perlukan kawan-kawan seperjuangan to keep the semangat alive and burning. Subhanallah..It's a great thing to have them around!

Hati ni sangat terkesan dengan suasana..bila dah selalu habiskan masa dalam suasana dan percakapan duniawi, sikit-sikit iman akan haus. Myself in particular is very susceptible to my surrounding atmosphere..and it always gets me worried when I have to be away from the atmosphere I'm supposed to spend much time in. Bila usaha untuk dunia dah take over mmg susah nak nampak indahnya usaha untuk akhirat. Sebab akhirat memang tak boleh dilihat..ianya tersembunyi..dan salah satu cara untuk menjadikannya 'kelihatan' adalah dengan banyakkan bercakap dan mendengar tentang perkara-perkara akhirat..which is something I've been missing lately. At times, I do have to ask myself, "Where am I?" Aku berlari ke arah dunia sedang aku menuju ke akhirat. Sekuat mana pun aku lari ke arah dunia aku tak akan dapat mencapainya..dan sekuat mana pun aku lari daripada akhirat aku tak akan dapat mengelaknya. On the other hand, kat dunia ni apa yang diusahakan boleh nampak terus resultsnya..kat rumah ni ha, gambar results gel electrophoresis belambak-lambak nak kena tampal dalam lab notebook. And just for the record I'd like to show u one of those;

Figure 1. Bands of DNA extracted from poor bacteria.

P/S: Tiba-tiba terfikir pasal Malaysia..sesungguhnya perutku semakin terseksa oleh keterpaksaan untuk makan makanan-makanan di sini..dah tak sabar nak balik rumah ni. Rindu nak makan to my stomach's preference. Rindu nak pergi markaz Sri Petaling. Rindu nak ke masjid nek motor dengan ayah with nothing getting in the way..the best thing a father & a son could ever do together! =)

missing out

Assalamu'alaikum...

O yeah..GE is showing it's true colors now. Sekarang tengah sibuk buat lab report GE. Hari Jumaat minggu lepas duduk dalam lab dari pagi sampai ke petang sibuk mempurifikasi DNA kali ke-2, sebab lab hari Khamis tu gagal. Lepas dah bertungkus lumus kerja berjam-jam, bila tiba masa melihat results..tahniah, lab perlu dibuat untuk kali ke-3 kerana results turned out not as expected. Yea..2nd trial failed as well. Ada budak-budak ni yang dah buat sampai 3-4 kali pun tak jadi-jadi lagi..kesian. Lagi tensen..tak dapat keluar minggu ni bersama kawan-kawan yang lain untuk beri laluan kepada GE. Sedang diorang sibuk khuruj fi sabilillah aku sibuk dengan kertas-kertas graph. I'm really missing out on what they are gaining..ruginya. Salah sendiri jugak sebab planning tak betul. Hm..harap ada hikmah disebalik kejadian ini. So..harap juga dapat siapkan lab report secepat mungkin, lepas tu siapkan lab notebook, dan lepas tu get ready untuk exam 1 GE minggu depan. =)

GE

Assalamu'alaikum!

Hey..it's been a while since I last racked my brain trying to find things to write. Judging by the rate I was going at, a one-week hiatus is pretty long I guess. Well, I've been racking my brain all right..but through a different channel? I'm taking this one lab people always think twice to take: Genetic Engineering (GE). No idea? Well..I'm not sure about it myself but..from a very2 simplified point of view, I can say that GE centers on the recombinant DNA technology, in which you manipulate physical features of DNA to...do things. Lets see..so far..it's not bad at all. In fact, I'm kinda enjoying it. Unless I'm getting the wrong first impressions, I think I'll pull through and stay breathing by the end of the quarter. Well of course this GE thing is keeping my hands and brain busy, so much so that there's only a tiny little room left in the academic portion of my brain for other subjects. It's always GE all week long. I feel like I've done the workload for one quarter in just one week of school..huhu. Great. I can hardly find the time to write a post nowadays. Last Thursday I had to camp out in the lab for almost 7 hours (with the other poor Malaysian peeps), from 2 pm all the way to 9 pm. Unlike with some other typical biology labs where messing up is not a the-end-of-the-world issue..almost all the experiments in GE are tagged with irremovable "do it until you get it right" labels. So if you mess up you'll have to do it over and over. Once during a lab session I talked to Dr. Rothman;

Me: "...to me taking this lab is like taking 3 labs at once."

Dr. Rothman: "Well, to me teaching this lab is like teaching 3 labs at once."
Me: "Haha..yeah."
Dr. Rothman: "But..what you learn in this lab is equivalent to what you learn in 3 labs."
Me: "...Exactly!"

I warn you..Dr. Rothman can be hilarious at times..that's what I like about him, he makes being in the lab more comfortable and casual on us.

Dr. Rothman was right. Lots of things from different labs I took that never made sense before are starting to fall into place now. The things I learned from GE have shed light on the mind-bugling puzzles I bumped into in the past. The skills I felt kinda tricky to master before are becoming all in a day's work now. Well..I know this course has a lot more to offer..and I hope I can get the most out of it, insyaallah.

P/S: GE rocks..mari ambik GE..=)

Turkish Society Center

Alhamdulillah..masalah tiket balik Malaysia akhirnya selesai jugak. Terima kasih kepada kakak HSBC yang ramah dan berdedikasi. Nasib baik kali ni tak bergayut dekat setengah jam macam haritu. Memandangkan aku balik lambat sikit kali ni (kerana kerajinan untuk mengambil kelas di waktu Summer), harga tiketnya agak mahal kalau nak dibandingkan dengan yang tahun lepas. Tapi takpe, family tercinta punya pasal, sanggupkan jugak beli. Lagipun tahun depan dah tahun akhir aku kat sini, jadi kelas-kelas wajib tu kena setelkan secepat mungkinlah. Final year nanti boleh la rilek sikit kot.

***************

Satu jema'ah dari Lackawanna dan Buffalo sedang khuruj 3 hari di ICR. Ada 6 orang dalam jema'ah yang semuanya..masyaallah boleh dikatakan 'otai'. Tiga daripada mereka adalah orang Arab, daripada Yaman rasanya. Semalam lepas 'Asar..aku, Br. Kamran, Br. Gungor (Turkish brother), dan dua orang Arab brothers daripada jema'ah pergi ke Turkish Society Center yang terletak lebih kurang 15-20 minit daripada ICR seperti diputus mesyuarat. Dua orang Arab brothers tu datang dari Lackawanna, sebuah masjid majoriti orang Yaman dekat-dekat dengan Buffalo. Seorang daripadanya ialah president masjid Lackawana sendiri iaitu Br. 'Ali manakala yang seorang lagi tu bilal masjid kalau tak silap. Takde orang pun sewaktu kami sampai dan Imam sampai agak lewat untuk Maghrib. Tapi alhamdulillah beberapa local brothers menyusul tak lama lepas tu. Sementara kami di sini, satu jema'ah lagi di hantar jaulah ke tempat lain dari ICR.

Sejurus sebelum solat Maghrib..sementara tunggu imam tu, Br. 'Ali dan Br. Gungor diutus ke Coffee House (dalam bangunan yang sama) untuk ajak orang-orang kat situ solat Maghrib sekali. Menurut karkuzarinya, sewaktu diorang masuk ke Coffee House berkenaan orang-orang di dalam sibuk bermain kad sambil "minum." Ada lebih 20 Turkish brothers kat dalam. Br. 'Ali minta mereka masa untuk cakap 2-3 minit..subhanallah..mereka berhenti main kad dan sedia mendengar apa yang nak dicakapkan. Tapi tiba-tiba seorang daripada mereka bangun dan berkata, "Apa yang kamu nak cakapkan?" Br. 'Ali menjawab; "Apa yang Rasulullah saw telah sampaikan kepada kita." Br. 'Ali mengajak mereka untuk solat Maghrib bersama. Lelaki itu membalas; "Sini bukan tempat keagamaan. Takde ceramah-ceramah. Sila pergi dari sini, kami tak nak dengar." Mendengar jawapan yang kurang menyenangkan tu, Br. Gungor cuba membantu tapi tetap tidak berhasil. Maka diorang berdua terpaksa beredar dengan "Jazakallah khair" sebagai penutup bicara. Selepas solat Maghrib, Br. 'Ali bagi bayan sikit..pastu kitorang duduk mesyuarat sekali dengan imam..membincangkan hal ehwal kawasan tu. Br. 'Ali tekankan betapa pentingnya untuk buat usaha atas mereka-mereka di luar tu. Sekurang-kurangnya perlu ikhtiarkan sesuatu supaya kita terlepas daripada dakwaan di akhirat kelak. Terima atau tidak, itu terpulang kepada Allah yang menentukan. Semoga Allah memberi taufiq kepada kita dan mereka..ameen.

Peristiwa yang lebih kurang sama berlaku sewaktu aku keluar di Syracuse. Masa tu aku, Br. Intikhab, dan seorang brother tempatan keluar jaulah sekitar perumahan orang Bosnia. Kami bagi salam kat satu kumpulan brother ni, mereka jawab salam kami, tapi..mereka sedang main kad dan "minum." Kitorang tanya boleh luangkan masa sikit tak..diorang jawab; "Sorry bang..masa tak sesuai lah, kitorang tengah "minum" ni." Lahaula wala quwwata illa billah. Mereka tahu apa yang mereka buat tu salah di sisi agama, tapi di mata mereka ini adalah seolah-olah perkara kecil. Sedih. Kita sepatutnya menangis mengenangkan mereka. Mereka juga muslim seperti kita, tapi mereka jauh daripada agama..jauh daripada rahmat Allah swt. Sedar atau tidak, di seluruh dunia..saudara-saudara seIslam kita berlumba-lumba lari daripada agama..berlumba-lumba menuju Jahannam. Siapa yang akan menyelamatkan mereka? Siapa yang akan datang kepada mereka dan beritahu dengan rasa hormat dan kasih sayang; "Wahai saudaraku, kamu ada kalimah yang berharga dalam dada kamu iaitu lailahaillallah muhammadurrasullah. Seorang muslim itu darjatnya tinggi di sisi Allah dan sesungguhnya Allah sangat menyayangi hamba-hambaNya." Hari ini jika rumah jiran kita terbakar, kita akan cuba sedaya upaya untuk membantu padamkan api. Tapi ini api Jahannam yang kita perkatakan..yang berpuluh kali lebih panas daripada api dunia.

Umat Islam perlu bergerak untuk usaha ini. Bergerak dan lihat keadaan orang-orang Islam hari ini..jika tidak, kita tidak akan dapat merasa fikir risau Nabi untuk umat ini..fikir risau yang Baginda bawa hingga ke akhir hayat Baginda saw. Teringat seorang brother ni cakap; "Sesungguhnya orang-orang bukan Islam bukan nak dengar ceramah yang hebat-hebat daripada kita tentang Islam, tapi mereka mahu lihat umat Islam bergerak..bergerak dengan membawa agama..dari situ mereka akan nampak indahyna Islam." Bagaimana mungkin mereka boleh mencari Islam melalui kita jika Islam itu sendiri telah hilang daripada hidup orang-orang Islam...

Kitorang balik ke ICR selepas solat Isyak, dalam pukul 8 malam lebih kurang. Br. Kamran turunkan aku kat ICR manakala dia terpaksa bergegas ke tempat lain..ada jemputan dinner katanya. Lupa nak cerita pasal Br. Kamran. Br. Kamran ni ialah seorang hafiz Quran..merangkap seorang software engineer dari Pakistan. Dia selesaikan Master's degree di Jerman sebelum datang bekerja di sebuah syarikat di Rochester ni..impressive kan? Dalam perjalanan dia order dua extra-large pizza..memandangkan jema'ah ada jemput beberapa budak malaysia lain untuk makan sekali lepas Isyak. Tapi dalam ramai-ramai tu hanya Izani yang dapat datang. Jadi kami empat orang Malaysians makan malam bersama jema'ah malam tu sambil sembang-sembang. Alhamdulillah..Izani ada niat untuk keluar jema'ah dalam waktu terdekat ni. Kawan-kawan aku dua orang tu pun ada niat keluar 40 hari di Malaysia cuti Summer ni, doa-doakan la supaya diterima.

P/S: Jaulah petang ni insyaallah..semangat2! Tulang belakang bagi agama adalah dakwah, tulang belakang bagi dakwah adalah jaulah/ziarah/gash/visitation..dan yang sewaktu dengannya..=)

can't I enjoy my youth?

*Sebuah post ditujukan kepada diri penulis*

"I just want to concentrate on my studies at the moment, do what youngsters have to do, and don't want any interruptions. I'll shift my focus to learning Islam when I get an established job, have settled down and have a family."

This is a plain deception from syaitan, the kind of thinking he wants us to have. May Allah protect us all from it. By saying this, am I not being arrogant? It is as if I am certain that I will still be alive for the next five, ten years to come. Forget about years, I might not even make it to school, or job tomorrow. There's no guarantee that I'll still be breathing for the next five minutes even. Being young, I think it's very "unlikely" for me to die? The Akhirah seems very far away that talking about it now doesn't sound right. Well, I still got at least 40-50 years to go, so what's there to worry about? Yes there is. The reality is, the Akhirah is so close to me that I don't realize it's just beneath my feet. The land that I step on every day, underneath it is the beginning of the hereafter. Like it or not, I've been in contact with the hereafter for as long as I can remember. It was never apart from me to begin with.

Sometimes it does strike my mind that, I've been striving so hard (konon2) for this such and such degree. But what if I die tomorrow. Where will my degree be? Where will my 4.0 be? Where will my promised well-paid job be? Where will my beautiful wife be? (oops..) The moment I breathe my last breath, it'll all be finished. An absolute "The End" to all my striving and struggles for the unseen future. And this is when I will have to resort to the good deeds I've done, if any. Had I made my youth an investment for the hereafter, alhamdulillah..but had I used up my youth in the pursuit of worldly pleasures, hoping that I can make it up when I hit old age, nauzubillah. Let's not get the wrong idea here. It's not that we cannot strive for our future..being students it's our primary responsibility even. In fact, we should be the best in our studies, or whatever fields we're in. But never let the urge to enjoy our youth get the better of our preparation for Akhirah. "A degree" is not certain and "the joy" doesn't last long, but "akhirah" is certain and it lasts forever. So lets not risk our akhirah for mere worldly offerings.

By sparing our times in seeking the knowledge of Deen, while others are enjoying their youth to the fullest, are we being deprived of our youth? Nope. Not at all. It appears as if we're missing out on what others are gaining but it's actually the opposite. From the viewpoint of Islam, "enjoying our youth" has got it's very own meaning. Youth is the most productive period throughout our entire lifetime, in which our energy and intelligence are at their peaks. When these are used for the sake of Islam, biiznillah, Deen will spread within and without. Nothing beats the blessing of being able to spend our youth in the worship of Allah swt. Of course this comes from His guidance in the first place. So never regret the times we have given for the Deen, for they will come back to us as a relief, a glad tiding. And watch out for the things we do out of desires, for they may come back to us as a regret.

Once Imam Abu Hanifah rah. was giving advice to his student, Imam Abu Yusuf rah. He said that in your youth you should spend your time in seeking Islamic knowledge, and thereafter seek a job, and when you get enough money then you should get married. He has made spending our youth seem "simple", but on the contrary I am making my youth seem "complicated."

P/S: There are some (a lot actually) Islamic books in this house I've been wanting to read. But the fact that I never got around to it makes me angry at myself. Apparently I'm failing the "seeking Islamic knowledge" part. (-_-*)

youngsters @ Syracuse

Alhamdulillah. We got home in one peace from spending the weekend at Syracuse Masjid. This was one of the longest weekends I've ever had. Never before I felt the time is running really slow like what I felt when I was there.

Sami' na wa ata' na

So last Friday, those who were going sat in mesyuwarah after Maghrib. Br. Kamran was taking over as a temporary 'amir since our current 'amir, Br. Intikhab was out in masthurat jama'ah for the weekend. It turned out that Br. Tanwir was the only elder brother who was going with the jama'ah, while the rest were all youngsters. As for Br. Kamran, he already did his three days last week. Now the thing I feared the most happened; I was made the 'amir for the going jama'ah. When Br. Kamran was making up his mind, I was praying in my heart so he wouldn't choose me (I believe the others were doing the same too), but Allah wanted the otherwise. The moment he tapped my lap, I felt like a giant rock had just crash-landed on my head. Seconds later, loads of worry and anxiety came surging into my veins, accompanying my newly acquired responsibility. No one among us wants to be made 'amir really, but once decided in mesyuwarah you'll have to do your best to live up to the trust. For any responsibility you take, you'll be held accountable for it on the day of judgement. But nowadays the situation is reversed, people are competing to gain responsibilities. If only they knew...

The Burmese

Four Burmese, three Malaysians, one Indian, and one Pakistani American made up our jama'ah at this point. Among the Burmese, only Akbar and Zakaria speak English while the other two, Hassan and Saleem don't. Unlike Akbar and Zakaria who have been here for four years, the later two just arrived from Burma a few weeks ago. The military dictatorship in Burma is forcing more and more people to migrate out as refugees. As a result, these people have no choice but to live apart from their beloved homeland.

Our jama'ah left with a poor preparation and somewhat in a hurry. As told by Br. Kamran, we needed to get there by Isya' prayer or else the masjid would be closed for the night. We left in two cars. The Malaysians, Akbar, and Hassan filled up one car while Br. Tanwir, Farouq, Zakaria, and Salim were in the other. I sat through the journey feeling all worked up about what's gonna happen over there. The fact that this masjid we're going has somewhat restrictive rules to coming jama'ahs made me even more restless. I was thinking I might end up getting the jama'ah into a mess. But then I reminded myself that sooner or later, if Allah keeps me in this effort, I will have to shoulder this responsibility of being an 'amir anyway. So I tried my best to be pleased with what He had decided for me, reassuring myself that there must be a blessing behind this. There was this kitchen issue during the stay of some other jama'ah that has made the kitchen not accessible to any jama'ahs now. Jama'ahs can stay but they cannot use the kitchen. Since cooking was out of the question, we had to bring our own home-cooked food, hoping that it would suffice for the entire khuruj. Br. Kamran suggested us to bring a microwave so we could heat up the food, but we forgot to put it in the car before leaving. -_-")

Imam & Son

We made it in time. There was a class going on by the Imam upon our arrival. After the lecture, I talked to the Imam (in the best way possible), consulting him on the dos and don's of the masjid along with introducing our jama'ah. The Imam's name was Yassir, and he's from Egypt. He was very receptive and welcoming. And guess what, he even left the kitchen opened for our use. More surprising, he let his son, Ammar stay with our jama'ah for the khuruj. Most of the time there were a lot of kids playing around in the masjid especially when events were taking place. They have Saturday and Sunday schools (comparable to "sekolah agama" back home) every week in this masjid. So if the schools are on, we are advised to do our 'amal in a separate room so we don't interfere with the school activities and stuff. But last weekend the classes were canceled and we got to do our programs without a hitch. Yet another favor from Him, I came to know that the president who set the no-kitchen rule was not around..I was pretty much relieved I didn't have to face him. Alhamdulillah, from this point on everything was made easy for us.

More Burmese

We started out with nine people in our jama'ah from Rochester but then ended up with fifteen. Ammar made the tenth, and four more local Burmese joined us the next morning. This was quite a big number to handle, especially when not all of 'em speak English.

Newborn Sumaiyyah

During jaulah time after 'Asr, Hafiz Ali invited us over to his place for some food, in celebrating the birth of his new baby girl. He named her Sumaiyyah, after the name of the first sahabiah who was martyred in Islam. After he did azan and iqamah on the baby, he requested me to do tahniq on her. Now Mael held Sumaiyyah in his arms while I put honey in her mouth. She looked so little and delicate. Had I been the one who held her I would've squeezed her flat..hehe. From Mael's face, I could read what's on his mind at that time: "I wish this were my daughter." ;D

I left Syracuse feeling bad that I could not spend more time with the local Burmese and that I did not fulfill the rights of this effort. This was pretty much an all-play jama'ah I brought. However we didn't come back empty handed. We did learn something throughout the khuruj and had new relationships established as well. May Allah accept our khuruj and choose us again to come out in His path next time..ameen.

P/S: When you wanna go out on khuruj, syaitan will make it seem very hard to your mind. He will try his best to put all kinds of feelings in your heart so you would feel reluctant to leave your home. But once you've made it out, things will become a lot easier than they were. Over time I've realized that no matter how reluctant I was to go out on khuruj, I always came back with a smile of satisfaction and contentment. =)